Vietnamese Willy Wonka

Hey all, the internet is screwed up over here at the moment, is it the same over there? it's taken me 20 minutes to get here so am gona have to rush through this.
hey claire fraggle and bruv, welcome to the madness.
I want to apologise again to Macaroni cos i feel guilty cos i am a controlling facist and censored his speech and feel really bad now. So have decided from now on no matter how rude or tasteless I will not tamper with other people's posts, but please bear in mind that i am of a fragile and sensetive disposition, and my sensibilities are easily offended by all things which 'a lady' would find unteneble, being as i am, a lady. So from now on this is an uncensored site, i shall not be a tyrannical overlord of the site censoring free speech, neither shall i remove offensive posts, neither shall i judge, or criticize.

So i sooooo haven't got time to put everything we've done in vietnam since cambodia. We are bombing it up the coast missing loads of good shit cos we've got no money and really should be getting a job soon... i s'pose. We're in hoi an at the moment, just got here after a 12 hour journey from da trang.

We went on a Mekong river tour a couple of days ago (one day before the outbreak of bird flu... how lucky is that??). That was amazing, people living on boats and stuff.. and we saw the vietnamese equivalent of charlie's chocolate factory, like a honey farm that produced sweets and wine, and we ate the sweets straight from the production line and everything, and i plunged my finger into a bee's nest and ate the honey straight from their lair! (photographic evidence of this can bee seen on my return), mmmm, sweet sweet honey! the bees didn't even sting or anything, and the bee keeper wore no mask - neither did i, they must be soft the bees over here, just letting me waltz into their home and sneak out honey.

Then we came to muin ne in vietnam - dull as ARSS!! But we did go sand dune sledging ... and AGAIN with the frickin' children! I would like to retract my original sweeping generalisation about cambodian children and open it up to include ALL children EVERYWHERE. My faith in the mini-people of the world has completely vanished as i watched another one working hannah (who, unlike tollick, has a heart of gold... very malleable and squidgy gold at that) This little girl turned on the waterworks and hannah crumbled like a... very... crumbly biscuit! I was like "Noooooooo, no more money! she's a pro han, they're tears of the crocodile variety!!" bus it was too late and the little girl walked away larfin, and AGAIN i got the evil child shouting rudenesses at me.

Anywhoo, after the sledging we walked along a river to see a waterfall... waterfall my ARSE! it was like 2km to this river and there i was boiling in the midday sun, all dusty and dreaming of just jumping in this waterfall when i got there. When i got there "waterfall" was a blatant exaggeration. 'Water trip' maybe? or 'Mud trickle' would be more appropriate i think.

Oh, and here's a sample of the menu we got for tea yesterday...i think you'll agree the squid salad was the safest bet.
ran tan thuoc - grilled snake with cheese herbs (aye?? what's cheese herbs?)
tho ap chao - curried rabbit (well, a bit gross)
chon muop huog - baked intestines of weasel... (say no more)
canh ga chien muoe mam - ahhh! at last! fried chicken ... oh no, it's in 'fish sauce' what the...? WHY for the love of god would you put fish sauce on chicken??
this is my favourite:
ca loc hap bau - crispy fried snake head (mmmmmmm, delish)
I wish i could tell you i tried at least one of these but alas i am a complete wuss with all things culinary and i went for the 'chips and salad'.

I've run out of time, and don't know when i'll fnid another net cafe with access, it really is shyte atthe moment, is it vietnam or everywhere?

see ya.