The scent of Bangkok
Oh yes, I see what's going on here!!! Check it out, all the blokes are only posting cos you think you'll get some saucy details about a sordid affair innit?!?!? (not you tollick, cheers for coming on, what's up with von? i'm sure she too would scoff at the idea of a magpie pecking a squirrel to death).
So you just want to know about the thai hooker? What about my lifetime ban from laos? does this not interest you?? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint and i actually feel very guilty into duping you into posting but nothing happened!! hee hee, i made it all up! i did get really pissed tho and travel home in the back on a taxi laid across 5 other of my fellow (very, very pissed)'teachers' with my feet hanging out the window and a bottle of beer in my hand... (only in thailand!) i'm actually very surprised and not a little pleased that my feet are still attached to my legs the way they drive over here.
And the closest i got to an 'enounter' with a prozzy was when i was drunkenly having a rather heated debate with some american bloke after i left the club (which is in the centre of pat pong, which is the seediest, sleaziest sex market... the club we went to was ok tho may i stress! just lots of people dancing and drinking... not a ping pong ball in sight thank the lord!). So anyway I was 'debating' with this american cos he's with this gorgeous girl he's 'bought' and i was telling him how disgusting and sad he was, and i was telling her how she could do better and asking her: "wouldn't you rather get a nice little office job, where you get weekends off and a pension?" she was just looking blankly at me and smiling... bless!
So yeah, no affair I'm afraid! got you posting tho!
Well, I've finished the course, last day today... all i can say is,
FUCK YEAH!!!
Feels great knowing i won't have any stress like that ever again... well i don't plan to anyway. I just did the old obligatory photo shoot with all the students but i'm sorry macaroni, as you know i am mildly retarded and i'm afraid i lost my camera-to-computer lead before i came out here so no can show no photo's - bangkok ain't a pretty place anyway, it's real, real dirty in every way... you'll be walking down the street and a waft of this minging smell which offends every sense in your nostril will drift past you and make you reatch! Kind of how i imagine fried dog, cats piss and mouldy cabbages would smell if you heated them all up and then set fire to them and then mixed in some rancid cheese.
Anywhoo, we were swapping e-mail addresses with all the students and it was well funny, three would come up at once with like pens and a book, felt like a movie star signing autographs i did!! So yes in celebration of the fact I am now a real life teacher, am off to get very drunk now, which will maybe lead to a sordid incident or an arrest which i can tell you all about tomorrow.
keep on postin'
x
posted by Katy Bangkok @ 3:57 am
5 Comments:
herro mis white
diss iss mi-mi-yow wan ov your'e studence hoo yu av tort inglich too fa da for wiks.i wan fanc yu fo yor elp' i cudt not av speek propa inglich wivart yor elp. befah i spik ow yu sai? pijin inglich but nah i duz spik mose heliqentli wiv aht a trase off pijin. fanc yu fromm de botomm ov me artz. yu is di besestt won da is aparts fromm missi anna. i wil be teech lik yu.
love from mi-mi-yow
tank me mis white,
yu hav helpinged i speek and ryt inglich wel verrie. i hopping yu enjoyes learneding us, i hav tort alot from yu. some peeple called yu fatty mc swetty and blobby mc bum bum but i no fink yu no dat bad. i hippo yu go on tu elp utherers peeples, lik me.
love from gi-mia-bia xx
Congratulations on completing the course. You must be so relieved!! What's the plan now then? Are you planning to stay in Thailand for a while and do some teaching? Did you mention going to China at some point? Oh and do you still yelp like a dog out of the cab widows?
How are the creature comforts over there? Don't tell me you don't have a tv. Our cable stopped working on Friday so we had no tv or internet for the whole weekend. Hell on earth I tell you!! We actually had to spend our days talking to each other!
Unfortunately I have not won the lottery. Just decided the time has come to buy. The prices are still insane but hopefully we will get there in the end.
Got to go now Coronation St is on! Don't worry you are not missing much apart from that silly tart Katy wailing and shaking violently in every other scene. Highly annoying!
Have fun!!
Clare
I was a bit worried when the news said about another quake, but glad to hear it didn't affect anything near you! But stay on the high ground just in case, hey, babe? :o)
On a lighter note Here's a funny...
Subject: Coffee, Croissants & Chewing Gum
An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter
and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down
next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless,started up a conversation.
The Yank snapped his gum and said, "You Australian folk eat the whole bread?" The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course." The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States, we only
eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia. The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence.
The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing, the Australian replied, "Of course." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia."
The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?" The American
smiled and said, "Why of course we do." The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" "We throw them away, of course."
Now it was the Australian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?"
Hello there gia mia bia and mi-mi-yow.
I'm glad you posted on my site after my English lessons with you, you were both my finest students and I hope you learnt a lot, it sounds like you did. Yes, that was funny when you all chanted Blobby Mc bum bum, on my first day, do you remember when I ran out of the class crying at that? ohh how you all laughed. But now look at you, speaking perfect English and all, my work with you is done I feel. Do you remember what I told you the formal response is for if you are being interviewed for an important job and someone asks you if you're ready?.. that's right, "I was born ready, take me to your leader", make sure you use this when you have an interview gia mia bia, it will impress all who hear it.
Excellent joke dib! more of same if you please!!
x
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