Toilet Bomb
We've just got back from Koh Samet where I'm ashamed to say I got very bored of laying on the beach doing bugger all... I can't believe it, it just ain't natural. Mind you it was completely full of loved up couples on their honeymoon (that was quite depressing to see when you're travelling with your sister) minging fat old western blokes with little Thai women, and german families, not exactly my idea of party people. So we've come back to Bangkok, and we're going for an adventure in Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam now. I think adventure is what we'll find, this is what the lonely planet says about travelling in Laos, let alone doing anything else:
"Cramped, overloaded and extremely slow, the buses can be a profound test of endurance and patience. Flat tyres and breakdowns are frequent and, during the rainy season, unpaved roads dissolve into puddles of mud, slowing buses to a crawl" (ok, I've travelled with British rail, I can handle slow and unreliable, not too bad a bit of mud, ok, but this is the bit that kills me:) "As there are no public toilets in Laos, passengers relieve themselves by the road during breaks on long journeys (e - a - u, not quite so comfortable with this, maybe I won't drink the 2 days before we travel, but it gets worse:) "Lao women usually go further into the bushes on such occasions. Keep in mind that some areas still have unexploded ordanance about from the second Indochina War, so it's not a good idea to go too far off the road" WHATTHEHELL??? Ain't no way I'm risking being blown to bits for a toilet stop, honestly, that's just a little too close for comfort for me, I'm off to boots tomorrow to buy a nappy. Don't care what I look like.
We stayed on Khao san road for the past 2 nights, that was interesting, lots of westeners getting dreads and plaits (why??????) and wondering around like loved up tree hugging hippies. Me and Han met an excellent pair of Australians Tamasin and Aland, they were funny as a fart - brother and sister and constrantly ripping the piss out of eachother. We were sharing a bucket on the streets on Khao San (bucket = samsong whiskey, coke and red bull... mmmmmmmm, dribble dribble). Wish I could show you the photo I got, Hannah's posing nicely, straw in hand, whilst I'm there straw in mouth look intent on sucking ALL the alcohol out of the bucket whilst Han's distracted by the camera! I loved the sign they had to entice you to drink there too, handwritten: "Very strong cocktails, no ID required" Good lord if I'd seen that when I was 14 I'd have thought I'd died and gone to heaven! The street stalls are fantastic if not the most hygenic in the world, the food we get is like 30p for vegetable fried rice, and the drinks are even better, 50 bahts for a STRONG vodka and sprite, that's like 80p or something, it's bloody fantastic!
Anywhoo, enough of the amazing price of alcohol, I'm off to look for a job, s'pose the dream's gotta end some time.
Keep in touch
Katy
posted by Katy Bangkok @ 12:21 pm
4 Comments:
Hey SurfChick,
glad to hear you are OK and not been anywhere near that crazy earthquake that happened the other day. Was rather worrying watching it all again on the telly. I can't believe someone had the stupidity of claiming they could drink more than you...I remember making that mistake in Byron Bay - dear lord I struggled!
Things here are OK, work is pants as usual and we now have a fox in our back garden, who makes a very crazy noise every night and first thing in the morning - if its not the squirrels trying to steal your mobile in Sefton Park its the bloody foxes keeping you awake and trying to half-inch your car stereo...(in Liverpool even the animals are thieving gits.) I booked my holidays today as well which is well good - Madrid in July where I'm playing in a footy tournament and Italy in August where we've rented a MASSIVE apartment to ourselves and we're going to go wild - should be fun!
You will have to try and get your photos up on the blog so we can check out the toilets and other crazy snaps you've taken - just remember that if you have to stop somewhere in the middle of the street and take a dump, try to angle your butt so you don't crap all over your feet. Tust me...it can happen..!
Take care and keep in touch,
Tony Macaroni
xxx
Hey Matey!!
soz for not being in touch sooner, haven't had much access to the net at the mo. Saw your Mum and co the other day, which is how I managed to get a hold of this web address (you can beat them later if you were trying to keep me away from it he he)
Sounds like your having a really fab time, which was to be expected really. Things here are fairly dull as always, but if its any consolation i think i could give you a run for your money where units of consumed alcohol are concerned!! i thought moving into my new flat would bring with it peace and tranquility, How wrong could I be! It appears now to have become the regular Saturday night watering hole before hitting the town... ouch! it's all getting very messy! Keep going with the updates matey!! V amusing.
Take Care
Kerry x x
Oh my lord!! I don't know what to be more scared of - you having your bits blown up whilst having a piss in a bush, or drinking yourself into a complete stupor or even more worrying - the fact that you are now going to get a job!! Ha ha. Only joking sure you'll be fine. You've already done the scary stuff so now it'll be a breeze!
Hope you are still enjoying it - tho I'd be very surprised if you weren't! Just reading Rich's post. He's right we did have a sunny day but today it hailed!! It's fooking April and it's hailing!
Today me and Gav reserved a flat to buy in town. Just off Division Street. Not fully built yet but judging by the specification of their other flats - I'm sure it's gonna be well swanky!! Only 1 bed tho and dead tiny - but we get a patio!! Due to exchange contracts in a month and then complete and move in end of July. Only problem is that when you come to visit us again you'll have to sleep on a blow up bed! Then again I suppose with all the travelling you've had worse.
Your blog is defo amusing to read and a god send when I'm sat at work. I've even got one of the others into reading it and she just sits there chuckling at you!
Well good luck with job lark and let us know how you get on.
Clare
You guys rock! and you make me look dead popular!! (cheque in post for that comment tollick, can't wait to see flat by the way: Division street? patio? swanky? you did didn't you? you won the lottery! givus some then! I can't even afford a bloody shed in Scunthorpe).
I took your advice Rich and went round patpong market with said sign around my neck, but forgot to mention being a teacher... boy was that a good nite! never been so pissed! can't remember much though.
Not seen any jungles yet but am taking an extensive course of malaria tablets and have paid for a very expensive injection against japanese encephalitis (incase i get bitten by a wild pig that's been bitten by a mosquito with a disease) so am determined not to let these go to waste. I am going to find a remote jungle in North Vietnam, enter it wearing no mozzie repellent, pick up a stick, and go do me some wild piggy-poking, yee haw!! (Ps, I gave Von some tres technical advice on how to get to this blog, it was written in like, really technoliterature tho' so I hope she gets on!)
The South East Asian equivalent of a squirrel, if you have read my latest post, is, of course, the Cambodian child.
Fast, agile, long nails with lots of disease-infested dirt under them, very shiny hair, seem to be autonomous but actually work as a social network spreading evil, plotting to take over the world, and selling mediocre postcards of foreign places, soft, fluffy and cute exterior with a heart of DARKNESS....Eeeeeevil little spawns of satan. And someone has pointed out that maybe I should have bought a postcard off of the little urchin cos it was only one dollar? they also suggested i was tight for not doing it! let me set the record straight here: there would have been hell to pay, they would have smelt the money, and all swarmed on me as a pack looking cute and demanding money and i would have been left penniless with a bunch of useless postcards, a load of crappy jewellery, and maybe a homemade harmonica.
Thanks for the dumping advice macaroni, seems like you have knowledge of the subject, care to share??? And I'm glad I'm not the only one pestered by these seemingly harmless woodland creatures who pretend to be happy in their environments but actually covet all things human.
Trish love, get over it, i ain't teaching in europe, although i did see 'A very long engagement' the other day and quite fancy myself as a french speaking teacher living on the coast near a romantic old lighthouse, speaking in ma sexeee french accent, and 'aving all zee mystereeeuz french men fall overrrrr at ma feeeeet. So yeah, France is now on the cards.
Kezza you wench i E-MAILED you the bloody web address to this site and spent sleepless nights wondering why you no post! there's summat up with your e-mail cos i've also e-mailed you personally, did you get them? if so please e-mail!! cheers. Your stonking new flat sounds fab, can't wait to get back in August and join the revelry!
But, did I notice ANOTHER challenge in your post? :
" i think i could give you a run for your money where units of consumed alcohol are concerned!! "
Pleeeeeeeease?? when will you people learn?? If we must we must, what is your drink of choice? Set the date, I'll be there, cup in hand.
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