Monkey Class from Hell

Bloody hell, 2 weeks?? time flies when you're a real life teacher i can tell ya!

i've settled into the new flat after having a massive clean-up cos there were 2 blokes living here for a couple of months and it was, accordingly, rank. it's now marginally better, only a few remnant beer cans and dominoes pizza boxes (drunk and eaten by me so that's ok). the bloke i'm living with, ben, the scots landlord, turned out to be a bigger drinker than me... only to be expected i s'pose given his origin and occupation, not to stereotype or owt, however, i have managed to tame it down a bit now i'm a teacher and all. We live in a massive condo with all the students aswell, so it doesn't do to wander round pissed really:
'orite Ahmed? how's it going? fancy a beer? go on, jusht a lickel one...what d'ya mean it's against your religion? what kinda sick religion is that man??"
... no, i don't think so.

my first lesson was ok, i'm working 2pm til 7pm shift, but going in at 8am every day so am a bit knackered but it's worth it if you plan the lesson rather than randomly going through the book cos they get bored, and man do they let you know if they're bored! my class is all lads, 18 - 29 from iran, yemen, saudi arabia, and china and they're really cool, tho it's hard getting them to stop talking arabic sometimes (apart from the chinese one). i thought this was just cos i was new, but another excellent teacher (she got an A on the celta and has taught for 2 years) taught my class the other day and afterwards she was like 'fuck! that's, like, the monkey class from hell, good luck!' which made me feel better!

because they're nearly all from arabic countries the male students aren't used to seeing a lot of womanly flesh apparently (in yemen the men run along the street trying to get a glimpse of ankle or wrist cos you can only see the womans eyes everything else is covered, they've only just changed the law to allow women to drive apparently!) so i now dress like my grandma every day - no not my grandma, she dresses with style - i dress like an old bag lady who shops in primark and oxfam, which is bloody awful! feel like a right old biddie! but i don't want them thinking i'm a western slut cos i've got me arms out do i??

i'm being observd by the big boss lady on monday so that's SHIT, and i was observed on friday by a new teacher for the love of god, i was like 'don't you want to observe someone good?'. I was just starting to enjoy the lessons and get into it and now it's like the celta all over again, but after that - if it goes ok - i should be left to get on with it.

went to a party in one of the other teacher's flat last saturday so got to know them all which was good, they're from all over, oz, nz, south africa, singapore, and a lot from england. i also, like, got invited to like, a gay club this friday by Will, a like, gay malasian teacher with, like, the strongest like, Amercian, accent, like EVER! but all i was fit for by then was collapsing infront of the a DVD. Talking of which i was sat watching 'curb your enthusiasm' last nite, bens gone to the cinema, and there's a knock at the door. i open it and there's 2 BIG black ladies stood there menacingly, and the biggest one is like (in a dead posh english accent) "hello, i used to live here, i left last december and i used to share with steve, you know steve?" "no, i just got here", "oh, well anyway, i left my 200 ringott DVD player here because i couldn't carry it, and now i need to take it, i'm leaving in the morning for thailand" glancing over my shoulder at the DVD player. i was like, fuck! what do i do? what if she's trying it on? and now she's seen it so i can't pretend it's not here. but seeing my hesitation she told me what make it was, so i let her in and watched as she unplugged one of my greatest sources of pleasure here (ben has the biggest and best DVD collection ever) and walked out the flat with it!!

so i'm panicking that maybe i've just been politely robbed, so i text ben:
'ben, was that your DVD player? cos some lady just came and took it, she said it was hers...sorry if it's yours!'
So when he gets back he's like, 'whathefuck?? why didn't you just LIE and say it was yours? why didn't you hide it?' i was like, 'but they were big and scarey and she knew the make!'. Turns out it was hers, she's an ex-teacher, but now there's no TV!! i don't count malasian TV cos it's shyte, apart from girly tuesdays with trinny and suzannah and queer eye.

So now i'm off to clean up the beer cans and pizza crumbs cos a new girl's moving in tonight, we know nothing about her at all... i'm praying for a person who likes beer and cleaning up after other people, fingers crossed aye?

PS HAPPY BURFDAY BRUV AND SIS AND MA.
(that'll do as a card sub won't it??)