Thursday, January 19, 2006

Snatching ghose

Well, the adventures of Europe aren't nearly as exciting as those SE Asia afforded. I went to see an old castle the other day..... um..... that was nice ....then I had dinner at a beautiful restaurant, where they served the most beautiful food in the WORLD.... that was nice.... Incidentally were you aware that the English are perceived as having absolutely no taste in either food, clothes, or wine in Italy? It's a common conception, but I didn't know it was so widespread... they ALL think it! The Italians can spot me as English a mile off. I think it's me clothes and hair that give me away, Italian women (turn away now if generalisations got your heckles up, they usually do with me but what the hey, all Italians do it so why can't I?....geddit?) and actually, cancel that, i mean Sulmonian women (in Rome anything goes... I saw one tramp outside Termini station at 11am with a bottle of beer in hand fondling an elderly woman with learning difficulties's breasts... m-ah-ing-ah-ing) are flawlessly coiffeured to within an inch of their life ALL day (or all of the day that i see them) evey day with perfect eyebrows, perfect make-up, perfect hair. You don't get Italian women walking round in trackie bottoms and trainers with a vikki pollard-type do. Oh no, even the mingers make an outstanding effort and do their hair EVERY day. It's like an obsession. So obviously I stand out a mile, and before I even open my gob they know I'm english....anyway, where was I with my adventures, oh yeah, um ....we did have a blizzard last weekend so I was forced to stay indoors all day sunday watching DVDs... (had nowt to do with the copious amounts of alcohol drunk the night before).... and that's about it, no near death experiences, nada, nuffink. I am well going back to Asia after this to find some sunshine and some deadly peril and stuff.

Oh, I did have one incident, not quite within the realms of my death-defying ventures in Asia, but worrying, none the less. I just spent 15 minutes trying to understand one of my "upper-intermediate" students little turn of phrase. We were talking about fair trade and African farmers and he starts mentioning a ghose and snatching it:
me - "So, do you understand that bit about Africa?"
student - "Yes, of course, the third countries chairman, they snatch the ghose, yes?"
"No...I'm sorry, come again?"
"the ghose, the en, the ghose, they snatch"
"sorry, come again?"
" the chairman in third country, he snatch the en"
"come again?"
"the ghoose"
"come again?"
"the en"
"come again?
"snatch, snatch, er, like, snatch the en"
(Starts gesturing pulling one of his hands off with his other hand. By this time I am completely confounded just like that marjorie dawes and that meera it was, just like that it was, just like that.)
"No, um, I'm still not clear I'm afraid, write ghose down for me"
Writes down 'goose' and I go
"Ahhhhh, goose! Well why dincha say so! Um.... So you say the rulers of third world countries are snatching goose?"
"Yes, or the en"
(Writes down 'hen')
"Ooooh, ok, hen... um snatching hen and goose"
"Yes! like.." (Starts gesturing again, this time it dawns on me)
"Ooooh, like plucking a hen? or a chicken?"
"Yes, the chairman from third country take from people like snatching goose"
"So... the rulers of third world countries treat the citizens like a hen to be plucked?"
"Yes" (triumphantly)
"Right."

... Am I being thick? Is that a turn of phrase i'm not familiar with or has he made up his own metaphor for the powerful taking from the not so powerful with this hen-plucking imagery?? I mean, fair play if he has, ten points for imagination, but man alive my head hurts now.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor Katy!

No one has responded to you - I thought I had better fill your life with another wonderful bit of news....I am getting made redundant!!!! How exciting!!!! The company are going to offer me another job but its pants so I'm going to reject it and get a nice fat chunk of cash and do my own thang! I may even take a trip out to the mountains and see you in your element - can I join your class? I could be the retardo kid in the corner who asks stupid questions and knows random bits of useless information like the average chocolate bar contains 7 spiders legs, or that a pigs orgasm can last up to 30 minutes, or that when possums are playing 'possum', they are not "playing" - they actually pass out from sheer terror.

Anyway, hope you are well and work is good for you.

12:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i reada youra blogga widda sommer consternatione!! ow you say we italiano vimen ara vainio ? heh ? alla you see isa da faces anda da, ow you say makeoop buta you shudda seea oura hunderarmz anda legz, they cannotta be seen so we leava wella alonio.
we do notta buy oura clothes from "bon marche" (did you know zat meanz "cheap"by ze wayz?)hanyway ia cannotta spenda de time ona ere anymorra cosa ia gotta goa and snatcha de ghose forra my tea anda getta ze en to pluck mya eyebrowz beforra i setta feetz outta ere ! i ope you hunnerstandz wotta i ama spik ov. by ze way i needa someone to walka ma chien do you knowz ov henyone ?
wotta iz zees spiderz legz in chocolate ??? ze worlds best food ???????? !!!!! noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

9:22 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are there any illuminati in sulmona ?

9:32 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello!!

Me and Von have emailed you - we're about to book italy holiday. Can you email us back and let us know what you want to do????

Cheers

Clare

9:01 am  
Blogger Katy Bangkok said...

hey macaroni! sorry for the delay, how's redundancy?? i know how you feel, in my 2nd week of my first ever, ever job i got made redundant, got an official letter and everything... i've never quite got over that rejection at the age of 11, took it quite hard, didn't quite understand the term redundancy back then and presumed i was just too slow at delivering the papers!
so yeah, come on over! it's not quite as icy as it was, tho it did snow a little bit last weekend in sulmona, i didn't care tho cos i was in rome for the post-ruggers drinking sesh!

yes, you can come and be retardo in the back of the class, but ye can't be retardo at the front of the class cos that position's already reserved.

hello again scoeggiaface, did you have a lovely time in the emerald isle?? hope so

x

11:38 am  

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