Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Cosmic Bum Power Yoga and Deluded Man-Eating Goldfish

Well, we made it, finished teaching and am now in thailand. On Phucket.
was a little wary of coming here after what happened, but it's fine... when you're in a rational state of mind. However, when you wake in the middle of the night because the rain's coming down really, really hard and the thunder's going and then the power cuts in your hotel, it's a might scarey. Had wave nightmares galore that night i can tell ya, me and helen were on the second floor but han and kate were downstairs and i was worried sick, even though we're on the top of a large hill, which was one of the specifications of coming here: staying in a tall hotel on the top floor on the top of a hill away from the beach.
You can still see remnants of the disaser like ruined buildings and it's very, very quiet, even for the off-season, but it is recovering, which is great to see.
We head of to koh samui tomorrow, and then on to koh phagnan for a 'black' moon party, turns out we missed the full moon AND the half moon party (what are the chances of that?) so it's the no-moon party on the 5th, which I spect will be quite dark.
Am making the most of eating pig now that i've left the muslim country of malasia where you can't get pig anywhere... right now it's bacon for brekkie, pork for lunch, and a light meal of piggy in the evening.... mmmmmm, sweet, sweet pigs.

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We went to a free yoga session a couple of nights ago. What a load of shyte that was! God I wish I'd recorded some of the gumf the yoga master was spouting, it did have an effect tho. Me, han and kate were dribbling the whole way through the cos yoga master was a complete god (a complete god wearing only yellow fisherman's pants and nothing else! mmmm!)

He was asking us to channel the cosmic energy from above with our hands in the air, but if we didn't trap the energry in our bodies it would go straight through us into the floor, to stop this and harness the energy we had to 'tighten your anus'!!! waaa haaa!! I was trying so hard not to laugh and checking everyone else out to see if they were suppressing giggles (they weren't, they were busy channelling cosmic power to their bums) .

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Ohmygod, me and helen have just been chased out of the sea by man-eating pirahnas. No shit! Mum, can you asked dad what the feck little yellow fish are doing biting me? They're only like an inch long but man do they sting you. I was so shocked! Like, a shole of them, about 5, chased me out of the sea, I was literally running backwards splashing them away and they were coming towards me in a full frontal attack, little feckers! Although it is on the beach where the full moon party is held, they're probably just goldfish on acid and tripping out that they're scarey sharks with big, sharp, pointy teeth.

Went to the dark moon party which was very, very cool, although it wasn't on the beach, it was nearer the forest, which is why, when I went to the toilet I ran out screaming from the first cubicle cos there was a massive poisonous looking cockroach with yellow spots on it in there, I also ran screaming from the 2nd cubicle cos there was a massive spider in there who'd laid a web right over the toilet, the third attempt was ok tho.
The music was super-cool, but unfortunately I didn't manage to dance, I was still minging from the night before (When helen MADE me drink lots of buckets.... Wot??? She did! ... and anyway, I needed them after the cosmic bum power yoga...) and anyway, it took me one and a half hours to drink ONE vodka and sprite cos I was feeling so delicate, and hannah would like it noted for the record that she hasn't taken a vow of abstinence from alcohol and she actually had to finish a drink for me which is definitely a first, usually the only way you'll take a drink from me is when you prise it from my cold, dead hands. I then got bought a jeigermeister tho and a couple of those sorted me straight out. It was a wicked layout, dance floors built into rocks of like a cliff face, lots of shiny happy people dancing their little hearts out in day glow tattoos and falling down the extremely steep stairs until god knows what time in the morning, we finally got home at 10am and went straight for a fry up on the beach and the party was still in full swing.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

back to life , back to reality !!!
cant wait to see you now and all the piccies of your adventures. by the way those cute little fish are the by product of an experiment to mate goldfish with sharks that went sadly wrong.

3:01 pm  
Blogger Katy Bangkok said...

yeah, but that's just it tho innit? it DIDN'T go wrong!! there's fish out there now that are cute, but evil, little, but deadly, orange, yet not slow and placid, but agile and ferocious! with the innocent looks of a goldfish but the cunning, blood-thirsty nature of a predator,
attacking innocent farangs on the coast of thailand... poor, poor unsuspecting tourists! little do they know of the terrors of the thai open water...

4:08 pm  

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